I love THIS!!!!!
Now. On to other news.
So.... Christine and I recently delighted in what can only be called a NINJA MISSION.
Backstory: Soooo.... Christine's WB (work boyfriend) was in Hawaii on extended vacation. When in Rome, you know. While away he texted Christine every day all "Ohhh I can't wait to see you," "I got you this great present," "Schmoozey schmoozey," "I'm oozing with charm and suave wit." So Christine was like "yeah I think I MIGHT go to WB's tonight, maybe, maybe not" but it was obvious that homegirl had somewhat planned to go to his house. However, when he got back he mysterioussssssly had other things "planned" and couldn't hang out. I don't buy it, ya slick haired weasel. And I said as much.
Christine: I wish we could like see what he's really doing.
Me: Uhhh we can.
Christine: ???
Me: Yeah. We go to his house. Put some feelers out. See whats up...
Christine: Are you inferring that we STALK him?
Me: I'm inferring that we...go for a drive, make some turns, see where life takes us. In secret.
Christine: Isn't that a little psycho?
Me: I don't see where this is going. Are we going or not?
Christine: Obviously.
So. We naturally immediately dressed in all black. And got her camera with the zoomy lens thing. We hopped on the freeway, blasting Paramore, trying to talk over it... Of course. Christine was emphatic, emphatic I tell you, that we wouldn't find anything. "This is silly. He is probably asleep. He probably hasn't texted me because he's so busy being a standup guy that it just slipped his mind that we had plans to hang out tonight." Yeah. And cats are good pets, Christine. As we were nearing his house, I started getting antsy. I was straight cracked out. On excitement and suspense of it all.
Me: What if he comes outside??
Chrsitine: Act like you lost your dog!
Me: He knows me!!
Christine: Well say he has fast legs and loves the mountain air.
Me: Ok. But I'm gonna pee.
Christine: Where??
Me: Right here!! Pull over!! I'm leaking!!
So, Christine OF COURSE doesn't pull over so I can take care of the bladder issue. Something about it being illegal. Whatever. It was pitch black. I don't even think a cop can fault a girl for needing to go when she needs to go. It's science. Yeah so I'm on the verge of bursting... but I think Christine would say the point is that when we drove by his house there was a car in the driveway!! Not HIS car. A girl car. Yes. A car that no self-respecting male would drive. At first I thought it made sense that it was WB's car but my roomie assured me its not his. Well. That has yet to be proven. But anyway. We park a reasonable distance away, down the street and on the other side of course. Next, we take some quick breathers and I try my luck again at getting the go ahead to pee on the neighbor's grass. But alas, she is still opposed. You know how when you play hide and seek and the moment you find the most deluxe hiding spot a girl can dream of, you have to pee! It's like some sort of switch your brain flips to mess with you at the most inopportune moment. That's messed up man. For cereal. Yeah so we get out of the car and sneak, ever sooooo slowly and gingerly to his front yard. Like we're literally in his front yard, 20 feet from his bedroom window. I felt fine about it but Christine was a bit jumpy. We decide to look in the car just to confirm someone's suspicions about it being a female's car. But dang it. We didn't bring a flashlight!! How could we forget that!! After I had sidled up along the car like I'm totally Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. I'm in his front yard for hecks sake and I have no flashlight? What kind of ninjas are we. Ninjas always have flashlights. But really. What would we have done with flashlights? We were laughing too hard to hold them steady anyway. I think we would have put on some sort of attention drawing light show before we actually found out anything.
Needless to say, we didn't find out any juicy info from the car. But we were lead to infer that the car belonged to a ladyfriend of WB's and thats fine. Just as we suspected. Juuuuuuuust as we suspected. Uh huh. UH. HUH.
I can't wait for another opportunity to be a ninja. I love my black pants. I think they sell those bright colored flashlights at Sev too. Score.
Thus begins the saga of a mutual hate, if you will, of WB.
...and so it began.
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